08 October 2009
*insert witty title here*
per the usual, i am tired. it was a l-o-n-g day today.
some days i really question how i am raising warren. he is his own little person and i really thought prior to having him that children could easily be...well..shaped! haaaa! i always figured it would come with the love and support etc. sometimes doing what feel right is so so exhausting.
i was just reading some interesting topics on an attachment parenting forum. (i would give yall the link...but i am too lazy to go find it again)...ok. i will try to find it before i am done with this post!
anyhow, heres the deal that i am thinking about and perhaps struggling with...i feel that i am so supportive of attachment parenting, slings, co-sleeping etc. meeting the needs of my child...but my lifestyle, my work really, has shaped the way i can really implement these things. well, that, and warrens own ideas about how things should be!
example about warrens own idears: we all co-slept in the same bed. for quite some time. it was easy. made life easy. warren would start out going to bed in his lil pack'n'play bassinette thing next to our bed. then he would join us in bed when we went to bed. at about five or so months, he wouldnt sleep well anymore. so, we tried the crib...and he seemed to sleep so much more soundly and deeply. now, i will be honest, i appreciate being able to sprawl out and not have a wiggling child next to me...but is my child going to be less "well raised" because he chooses to sleep away from us? plus, i miss him next to me! (after re-reading this paragraph, i feel like adding that we do tend to "co-sleep" alot more than what i am making this out to be...i end up with him in the twin bed in his room more often than not because i fall asleep with him while nursing during the night or early morning)....so we do get our cuddle on!)
his needs ARE being met. with a quickness. he wouldnt have it any other way, nor would I...i just wonder.
as for other aspects of AP'ing, warren loves being with me on my back, being carried, being strolled. and i love making wraps and other carriers 9its a shame i dont have more time...i would have a million of them!)
its so funny how these lil people make us question ourselves so much. and worry! i think its the one guarantee of parenting....you will worry. and wonder if you are doing it (or did it)right for the rest of your life!
i am not really doubting how we have chosen to do things...but i cant help worry about the fact that we only get one chance at this...warren will not be the lil person he is today--- ever again.